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Parenting Mistakes with Firstborns

Parenting Mistakes with Firstborns

Every parent loves their child.  But we all know that there are kids who are loved more than their siblings. And all the siblings play different roles in the family. But parents seem to go slightly harder on their first born. Most of the times parents don’t even realize that they do that.

There are somethings that go wrong while raising the first born because its the first time these two people are raising child.  There are times when they have no idea what to do.  But there are some things most of the oldest siblings must have experienced and those things are what parents are doing wrong.  Let’s dive right into the topic head first.

  1. Expectations –  Oldest child is like the scale on which all the younger younger siblings will be rated.  So parents have very high expectations for the first one. Many parents want the oldest child to be like a role model.
  2. Parents tend to  be harder on the first born child.  They dote on the older one.  They want the older one to be self sufficient.
  3. They often unintentionally forget to consider the older kids feelings when there is a conflict between siblings.  Parents think that the older one should be a bigger person even if the siblings hurt them emotionally.
  4. Most of the Firstborns decisions are taken by parents so as with the consideration for the younger siblings.  There have been many cases where the older one gave up on something they wanted because younger siblings. They need to mature even before entering adulthood.
  5. It sometimes can be emotionally unfair for the older sibling as to be always be considerate of others,  they need to  be a good role model, they need to be what their parents want them to be instead of being themselves.
  6. Parents are sometimes not involved in the child’s life fields which needs the parents. It might be frustrating to see my younger brother having the chance to choose while I am told what I have to do.

Older children have to plan their life around their siblings.  As parents dote on them, they often play the role of parent figure in their siblings life. Which is sometimes not really fair on the child’s part.

Even though it’s not right to blame the parent but still because these kids have high expectations to live up to and sometimes feel like they are not supported it can cause psychological issues. These kids grow up in self doubt,  feeling like they are not good enough, they have failed even though they have done more than enough.  This is not something a child should feel like even though they are one of most hardworking people.  The kids need to know that what they have done so far is good enough that they are good enough, and the parents are sorry for all the hard time they gave the kids and that they are proud of what they are,  and loved for who they are.

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