Middle Child! It’s a child who is stuck between the oldest and the youngest siblings. Which acts like a mini identity crisis. There are neither considered confident and responsible like oldest child nor are they considered innocent and naive like youngest child. And they tend to feel like growing up in the shadows of their siblings. Well nobody is born as a middle child, you become one after the youngest is added to the equation. This sudden change in the birth order can create confusion for the young child.
Even though every child is loved by their parents. But we all know about the favorite child thing. And it is also said that that oldest and youngest are more loved. Mainly because oldest is the first child for the family and youngest is the only kid at the time. Middle child have to cater to the older sibling as they are the oldest one after parents, but then they also have to pay attention to and have to take care of youngest siblings. Which is totally unfair as they are neither the oldest nor the youngest. So this can often make them feel like they are neglected, which can give rise to the feeling of not fitting into the setting or the equation. And can give rise to self doubt, identify crisis. Which is not something anyone would want to feel.
Now lets dive into the reasons which may cause middle child to struggle while growing up.
Constant comparison to older siblings :-
As second born, you are supposed to live up to the standard your older sibling has created or followed. You need to be at least 90% of what your older brother or sister. And this comparison does not limit only to parents but also in school if all the siblings are attending same school.
Feeling Neglected or Forgotten :-
Oldest sibling is a first born which means they always will be considered responsible and parents will dote on them and youngest sibling is the baby of the family so parents are protective of them. But in all this chaos it’s hard to find the time when parents have time for the middle child. It always is like trying to get parents attention. Which causes the middle child or second born to feel like they are invisible to parents.
Always getting used things :-
Generally oldest kid gets new clothes then as they grow out of them they are passed down to Middle child and by the they grow out of the clothes and it’s time for you to pass them down to youngest child, the clothes are too worn out. So comes in the new clothes. As anyone will be able to observe oldest and youngest sibling got new clothes while the middle child is stuck with hand downs.
Being independent :-
As reference to second second point, the middle borns are not paid much attention. So the kid has to work out many things on their own. As they are never given much needed attention.
Acting like a bridge between oldest and youngest child :-
Whenever the two of your siblings fight things are at stake atmosphere is of a war. So you have to step in or you are made to get evolved and work as a bridge or a messenger for both parties. Well not only you pass on the messages but also try to get both the parties to make up. Which is what ends up happening.
Acting as an unpaid babysitter :-
Just how oldest sibling was your babysitter now you become the babysitter. And you don’t even get credit for that.
Power bank for the siblings :-
Not as the literal meaning but you are like the point for recharge for your siblings. Oldest one comes to you for sharing stuff like the things they want, their concerns, their emotions and a whole lot more. And you are the person your youngest sibling comes to when they have questions or confusions.
Well these are some of the many things middle children deal with. But this does not imply that the kids don’t know how much their parents love them, support them, dote on them. This is simply just how they feel from time to time. The middle child knows how you love them and everything you say and do is for their sake. And this is just from the point of view of the middle born with no hatred towards the parents. Then not only understand their parents and siblings but also love and support them with all the heart they have.